What NOT to write in a CV or covering letter - Part Two

Following on from our feature "What not to write in a CV or covering letter - part one" it seems that we haven't quite got the message across to everyone just yet.

Here are some more genuine excerpts from CVs or covering letters we have seen in the last few weeks. The sentiment might be valid, but the delivery is often questionable!

The great orator

• “I speak well to crowds.”

Outstanding IT skills

• “Checking and sending e-mails.”
• “Web Surfing etc. etc.”
• “Basic knowledge of Computer.”

Aspiring philanthropist?

• “Excellent communications skills, initiative and a keen desire to make a difference in the lives of others.”

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

• “I have an uncommon ability to lead and direct the work of others.”

Employer satisfaction money-back-guarantee

• “I'll not disappoint you and shall try my best to exceed your expectations.”
• “With the backing of profound professional experience, I am pretty confident that I will be able to discharge my duties to the entire satisfaction of the management.”

I’m usually a conman but….

• “If given a chance, I would focus my concentration on honesty, dedication, hard work and innovation.”

Something to confess?

• “It is my understanding that taking on a new member of staff carries an element of risk and, often, requires a leap of faith on the part of the employer.”

A high-flier in the making

• “With my dynamic personality and enthusiasm this would be the perfect opportunity to spread my wings.”

I’m a VIP

• “You are kindly requested to contact me at my number provided below only on Saturday or Sunday.”

Admire the optimism

• “I will be waiting for a positive reply.”

And at the end of an eight page cover letter….

• “THEREFORE, IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT MY SCHOOL OF THOUGHT IS STRATEGY-ORIENTED, WHICH IS MANIFESTIBLE FROM THE ABOVE STATEMENTS OF FACT.”

That’s us told then.

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